These past months have been focused on recovery. After months of putting 100% of my attention to my platform as a way to cope with a very toxic relationship, I was simply exhausted. Nothing made sense anymore and my creativity seemed to escape. What if my only reason for this blog was to escape the life I was living?
I genuinely believe this platform took me in at a time I felt lost. My sense of worth was connected to my blog. My escape from reality became toxic too, there was no escape. Feeling not good enough followed me in every part of my life.
After eliminating toxic relationships I took a break from writing. There wasn’t inspiration, motivation, or even the will to try. I was focused on rebuilding who I am; I was an empty shell filled with doubt. Unrecognizable, I began my journey discovering who I was and what I deserved in life. It was drilled into my head that I would never be good enough or even worthy of genuine love.
With that experience behind me and many therapy sessions later I’ve grown past that empty shell. I took back who I am and now refuse to settle for anything less. No person will gaslight me into feeling inadequate again. With this, I’ve slowly noticed creativity coming back.
Throughout these past months, I’ve written. My pieces became a part of me I want to keep safe. Now, with time to myself, I feel ready to share more about this past year.
2020 wasn’t what I planned, but it was more than I could have wished for. During this holiday season, I am filled with more love than the last. While we go home and socially distance from the people who mean the most, I am in awe of the abundance of togetherness I feel.
Closer to those who have shown me I matter. No one in my life now brings me down, but instead, bring the best out of me. Thank you for sticking by my side and the continuous support while I healed myself.
Stay safe and take care of your mind.
Lots of love.