how i practiced what i preach

practice what you preach

Have you ever heard of that saying? I preach about taking care of your mental health. Practice self-care and listen to your body. My posts are centered around mental wellness and I keep a safe space for others to talk about their struggles. For so long I had been trying to help and support others as they take care of themselves that I forgot about me.

During quarantine, a bunch of things happened and it took a serious toll on me. Soon after my therapy sessions stopped and I had to apply my coping skills by myself. It wasn’t easy and I burnt out fast. My blog slowed down and all I felt was guilt for letting others down. How was I supposed to help others if I wasn’t doing well myself?

After a couple of weeks of dealing with guilt and insecurities, I decided to take a break. Everything was put on hold (except my motivation monday posts!) and I focused on myself. This time was filled with exploring my feelings and finding outside distractions. I couldn’t help myself if I was too busy trying to help others. My effort towards helping was not successful because I wasn’t my real self.

I felt shame that I couldn’t be who I wanted to be. Then I realized I was feeling shame about something I preach should have no shame. It seemed pretty hypocritical of me. So, I took a break and let it all rest.

Since then I’ve started a new job, worked on outside projects, and focused on friends. I’m finally enjoying life again and fill my days with happiness. This seemed impossible at the beginning.

The first reason for this blog post was to explain my absence to you all. I haven’t been here and you all deserve to know why. The second reason is that I wanted to acknowledge how hard it is to check in with yourself.

I find myself preaching it consistently, but often forget how hard it can be to take a step back. It isn’t easy and the feeling of guilt seems to be automatic. It feels as if you are not only letting yourself down, but also the people around you. What finally got me to take a break was when I took a step back and realized I was wasting time.

If I wasn’t feeling 100% then everything I did was not at 100%. My posts are directly affected by how well I’m doing. There is a huge difference between posts written when I’m thriving and posts uploaded when I’m not feeling myself. There was no reason to continue if I could not dedicate 100% of myself to my blog.

As I continue getting back into my blog routine it will take time. My posts may be messy from the lack of writing practice or they may not be as relatable. They will probably also be shorter until I get back into my writing style. However, I am back and ready to do everything I can as I grow my platform.

Thank you all for being patient as I took care of myself. Thank you for the endless support. This blog is my life and I never feel more at home then I do here. You all give me the courage to share my thoughts and spread the important message around mental health.

You can’t pour from an empty cup.