Compliments kinda freak me out sometimes. I always appreciate them obviously, but when a certain feature is shown I don’t believe what the person is saying.
Yesterday I took a picture on my back deck. Typical enough, right? I looked at them and some were okay while others were just not good enough for me. It wasn’t my face that bothered me or my outfit, but my shoulders.
I’ve been insecure about my shoulders since high school. Some guy I liked commented on how broad they were and ever since I always try to wear something that makes them look “less broad.” Some bathing suit styles help and dresses that cover them all together made me feel better too. I have constantly tried to cover up a part of me that someone negatively spoke about four years ago. It was not okay.
There is no reason to hide parts of me. Every person deserves to be confident in their skin and embrace who they are. I realized that it was foolish to dress just to cover up the part that was brought down years ago. That stupid comment brought me years of insecurity and it’s time for me to embrace what I’ve tried to hide.
I looked through the pictures I took and chose the ones I felt were empowering. You can see my shoulders and I am choosing to not be insecure about that.
Every person knows the feeling I’m talking about. One rude comment that’s followed you for too long. It’s time to end that. Here’s the process I went through to take back what I felt was not good enough.
- Acknowledge the hurt. You cannot get over something without time to process it. Take a minute to think of what was said, how you felt, and why your feeling is valid.
- Embrace who you are. Take back your insecurity. An insult can take away your sense of confidence and that can no longer happen. Look at yourself and remember you are amazing. All parts of you deserve love.
- Show it off. Take some pictures, write about it, or simply look in the mirror. You are you and that is enough. It’s more than enough.
It can be hard and take some time. I know that when I post this I’ll be anxious and that’s okay. Slowly my confidence will build up and that insecurity will become a memory.
Love your body. It takes care of you, it protects you. Wear what you want and remember who the hell you are. You are amazing.
Words matter and they can easily hurt someone for years to come. Four words ended up taking over my thought process for the last four years. Watch what you say and encourage your close friends. Compliment them in ways that are not physical, but instead, support their personality. Their intelligence, sense of humor, and qualities of a friend can mean so much more.