The worst part about having anxiety is the fact that it gets in the way of normal tasks. Earlier this week I had extreme chest pain, to the point where I wanted to go to the doctor asap because I thought I was having a heart attack. I ended up eating a meal, laying down and taking a nap. My body was exhausted. I ended up having to miss one of my favorite classes because my body went against me.
Sometimes I try to understand why my anxiety can get so bad. The thoughts are always racing in my head which can often lead to me staying up too late. My chest feels as if an elephant is sitting on me, crushing my lungs. My body holds onto stress in a way I can’t seem to figure out.
There are many factors to blame for having anxiety. Genetics, brain chemistry, life events that cause extreme stress, and can even be situational. Some people just have social anxiety and have trouble speaking in front of a group of people. Other times when a big life event occurs, like a death in the family or the loss of a job, stress can increase to cause anxiety. Both can lead to panic attacks.
Occasionally people can be prescribed antidepressants or other medications to help with situational anxiety. After a while, they can wean off and stop taking them when things become a bit more normal or easier to handle. To be completely honest, I’m jealous of them. I am also extremely happy for them that they are able to get back to who they were before, that is an amazing thing. It would just be nice if I could have that chance too.
Poor Google has had to deal with so many of my searches. Looking up random facts and coping skills helps me accept it a bit more. During one of my searches, I discovered a Crisis Hotline for anxiety. Discovering the organization and looking at the website eases my anxiety about having anxiety. Knowing that others have it makes me feel better and I know how bad that sounds.
This whole thing has just been a shit show though. Each new thing causes my breathing to get a little faster, too much stress and I’m down for the day. I have to make sure I get eight hours of sleep and eat every couple of hours to keep me level headed. It’s the most extra thing ever. I envy every person that doesn’t have to limit their Starbucks intake.
At the end of the day, it is what it is. There’s no way I’ll ever live without having to pay attention and make sure my anxiety is under control. Accepting it some days is easier than others though. That’s the reason I’m sharing this with everyone. Plenty of people tell anxious people to just “keep going, you got this!” and that does help a little. Other times though it’s nice to just sit and say that this shit sucks.
I use this platform for advice and to show the good and bad. Often times social media is only the good, but that’s not how life works. So, while this post may just seem really down and depressing it’s the truth. I have anxiety and it sucks, but it is a part of me. I have anxiety, but it doesn’t have me.
Whether you’re having a good anxiety day or a bad one it’s ok to take a minute and say the truth. Say it with me “anxiety is stupid.”
It’s nice to take a minute and acknowledge that. Just remember to go back to fighting it after. While it does absolutely suck, it’s also something that makes you, you. While writing this I took time to just hate that I have it, but now I have to get back into my motivation mindset.
You can spend all your time being motivational and faking it which tires you out. You can also spend all your time hating it and end up being tired by that, too. Creating a middle where you have time to hate it, but then getting back to figuring it out is crucial.
If you ever feel alone and want to rant you can email or message me. If you ever need a quote and some motivation you can reach out to me for that too. It is what it is and without it, you wouldn’t be you.
Text us. If you’re anxious and your mind is racing a million miles a minute, you want help now. Like, right now. Good thing we’re here 24/7 to help you work through your anxious thoughts and get to cool and calm. Text HOME to 741741 to connect with a real human.Crisis Text Line